Cultivating the deeper awareness.
Every angle has another view. Our lives are like cut gems with many facets and the light reflects with so many different possibilities.
Never has it been so apparent as when our lives have been disrupted. Auto pilot no longer useful and we are asked to look for creative ways to shift our awareness.
I have watched our neighborhood at Lincoln Center close down and go from vibrant activity to quiet. You could walk without concern for lights and restaurants theatres all closed.
At first, I put life on hold, as if waiting for this to be over so I could return to my life.
But eventually I recognized that this is part of my life and that waiting was not the best strategy for living and cultivating a life of abundance.
I looked for the positive – having more time to read, quiet, better sleep. As the long days turned into months, I considered a new approach.
Gurumayi”s 2020 message spoke to us of Atma Vichara study of the self. Vichara defined as reflection introspection investigation. This is not just a quick ah-ha moment but a willingness to investigate, to till the soil and nourish the roots of our soul.
Now for the first time in many years I had time to contemplate to examine my life and ask myself, what brings more joy and meaning to my life. I was holding on to the past and waiting for this disruption to pass. Then it came as if a light went on and I saw a threshold an opening. This opening was not visible when I was rushing from client to client. When the activities filled the day and life was “normal”. Slowing down and pendulating between fear and love of life allowed me to step into life as it is, not as it was. I wasn’t denying the fear. It is hard to ignore but I choose to feed the place within that recognizes the good in the universe as love.
I sat for weeks with the question, what do I truly want to do with my life? How can I share the knowledge and teachings from my teachers with others. How can I continue to expand and also dive deeper into the roots of my soul? I have loved being a teacher and I have loved being a student. Going back to school has been a joy and I am taking time to investigate self and heal my heart.
I think of life like gardening. At times when the soil is dry or hard, tilling is a way to break up density and remove weeds. It is a way to nourish the deepest roots and create health for the next crop. We can sit back and wait or we can prepare the soil for the future. This time is an opportunity to step in and co-create the life we want to live and serve the universal flow of energy that connects us all. The message of 2020 is an invitation to investigate and create space -- what make your heart expand. These are just a few of my thought today and I would love to hear or read your thoughts.
email susanrubin108@gmail.com
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